Choosing to love your husband even when you don’t feel like it

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This has been hard for me. I get upset and frustrated so easily with two little ones. My 3 year old is still going through the terrible twos and tantrums and started waking throughout the night. 

My 10 month old has been teething and nursing and still not sleeping through the night. 
 
With not a lot of sleep and dealing with the emotions that accompany the tantrums and fears, the last thing I want to do is spend energy and time on loving my husband. 
 
I get angry at him for not doing more. For not being able to come up with new ideas to help our kids. For working outside the house which leaves all the appointments up to me. For being a man and not being able to nurse. For being the dad when the kids just want mom. I get mad at him for things that are out of his control way too much. 
 
But I am learning to make a decision each day to love my husband even if I don’t feel like it. 
 
I’m learning that love is a choice and not a feeling. I am capable of loving my husband even if I’m upset at him. I can choose to love my husband even if my emotions are more negative than positive. 
 
How do I love my husband when everything else is chaos around the home and I don’t feel like it?
 
I tell him I love him. 
I give him a kiss and say thank you. 
I ask him about his day. 
I smile at him. 
I take a moment to listen to him. 
I talk to him out of love and not anger. 
When the kids are in bed, finally, I cuddle or if I’m not in the mood to cuddle, I say “I love you but I’m not really in the mood to cuddle tonight. It’s been a hard day”
I make sure he knows that no matter what my emotions are and no matter what I’m feeling, I still LOVE him. 
 
Make the choice each day to love your spouse regardless of what you are feeling at that time. 

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